Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
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