Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
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