So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
Randomize
