stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
Randomize