Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
Randomize
