brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
now i know why i became what i already was.
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
Randomize