She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
Randomize
