I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
Randomize
