i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize
