Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
Randomize