She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
He felt like a one man threesome
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
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