What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
Randomize
