I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
Randomize
