the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
Randomize
