I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Randomize