if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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