I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
Randomize
