did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
And then he peed in my hair
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