You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
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