you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
i need some magic done to my vagina
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
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