Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
Randomize
