weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
Randomize