Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
Randomize
