Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
Randomize
