She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
Randomize
