I accidentally had phone sex last night
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
the gays at disneyland are vicious
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
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