ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
My life has come down to me literally sitting on an uncrustables trying to defrost it because I’m drunk alone and hungry.
Randomize
