Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize