Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
Randomize
