cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
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