It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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