I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
Randomize
