Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
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