After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
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