I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
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