Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
Randomize
