So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
Only a mothe r could love this liver
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
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