so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
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