I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
Randomize
