so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize
