We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
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