did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
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