...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
I need to sanitize my soul.
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
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