i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
Randomize
