Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
But break dance skills will only take you so far
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
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