the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
Randomize
