Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
I know her cup size but not her name....
Randomize
