Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
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