dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
Randomize
