No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
