Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
Randomize