it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
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