Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
Randomize
