I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
Randomize
