I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
Randomize
