Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
Randomize