Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Randomize
