I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
I just faked an interview like I fake a fucking orgasm. Wonder if these candidates can tell I'm a tired and hungover recruiter?
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
